Having A Christian Marriage

Last weekend, my church the Uprising, had two guest speakers from Georgia come to speak to couples about being in a Christian marriage.  Wanda & Michael Collins spoke about how a Christian marriage should operate, tips to keep your marriage holy, and its purpose.

Best Christian marriage seminar
This image is from their website.

1. JESUS is coming soon.  Make sure your relationship with GOD is solid.  They encouraged husbands to guard & protect their wives spiritually.  Make sure that you have your own relationship with God and that you pray together, but also separately.  Read the Word together also.

2. Remain faithful & pure.  You need to set boundaries for yourself.  Be mindful of the media & its agenda.

I can’t believe how fast food places are using sexy models to sell their burgers now.  It’s craziness!  One thing that Wanda kept saying over & over again was to guard your gates: your ears & eyes.  Pay attention to what you are watching and listening to.  Watching television with promiscuous behavior and listening to music with profanity will infiltrate your sub conscience and affect you.

Great Advice for Anyone

3. BE passionate for GOD, not just lukewarm.  -See Revelation 3:15.  This reminds me of the movie War Room where the lady gives the other woman lukewarm coffee to prove this point.  Cold and hot both have their place; you can’t do anything with lukewarm.  God wants you to be passionate about Him because He is passionate for you!  Wanda pointed out something that I had never thought of before.  In the Old Testament, when they gave sacrifices to God, they brought the sacrifice to the alter & killed it for God.  When many people marry, they do it at the alter – showing that you die to yourself for your spouse.

4. Dying to Self.  If Christ died for His bride, why can’t you?  Ephesians 5:26, Galatians 2:20.  The speakers pointed out that you shouldn’t let your flesh control you – that’s your mind, will, emotions – instead, you should allow the Holy Spirit to control your actions.  -Luke 22:42

This helps with your witnessing to others.  We need to let Christ live through us to show others the way, not just give lip service!  As Christ-followers, we need to stand out.  Dying to yourself will definitely make others curious, which opens the door for some honest sharing.

5. Ask GOD to fill you with Holy Spirit because you can’t do this on your own.  They said to think of something that your spouse does that drives you crazy.  Maybe it’s not turning the lights off when you leave the room, chewing with their mouth open, interrupting you when you are talking, etc.  Your spouse was given to you by God to help develop you.  Your spouse is killing you because they are helping you die to yourself!

We all need sandpaper in our lives.  Some people are the coarse and others are the fine sanding.  At the end, there is a beautiful masterpiece, but the process can be painful.  Your spouse helps make you a better person.

Powerful Advice for Christian Marriages

6. The Collins’ gave this important request to wives: Give your husbands quiet time so that he can hear from GOD.  Wives are not the Helper.

So many women (myself included!) talk so much that there is little time for quiet.  Don’t feel like you have to fill every moment with sound.  The silent brings a calmness – Be still & know that I am GOD.

Make sure that you (wives) guard your words and are in tune with Holy Spirit.  Ephesians 5:25.  They reminded wives to keep GOD a first priority, husband as the 2nd and children as 3rd.  This is very difficult to do sometimes.  It is very easy to put your children before your husband.  That’s not how GOD designed it.  Just remember: you have your children with you directly for only a season, but GOD designed marriage to last for the rest of your life.

7. Next, for the husbands: put your wife before other people & things.  Take the lead in dying to yourself.  Nothing but God should come before your wife.  Not your job, your phone, even your ministry!  Your marriage is a ministry.  The Collins’ encouraged couples to create a mission/vision statement for their marriage.

If you are constantly putting the other spouse first, many problems and arguments can be avoided.

marriage advice for Christian marriages
Stop fighting each other!

8. They closed with this: How do you know you’ve died to yourself?  Your responses will change because you’re trying to please the Father.  Remember: your spouse isn’t trying to cause you harm!  That’s the will of the devil.  You should not be fighting your spouse [both of you pointing guns at each other]; the two of you should be fighting off the devil and attacks together [both of you standing back to back with guns pointing outward-think the Charlie’s Angels stance].  Fight the real enemy, not each other.  They encouraged couples to use their story to make a difference.

The purpose of your marriage is to make you holy & glorify GOD.  Make you HOLY not HAPPY.

Other Resources:

They recommended a book: Sacred Marriage.  Sounds like a great read.

I highly recommend using the Collins’ website.  It’s jam packed with devotionals, coupons and other resources with information to benefit your Christian marriage.

Here’s the website of my church.  Find sermons and information on other activities.

What I try to remember is this: love is not always a feeling, some days it’s a choice.  No matter how you feel, you made a promise to GOD that you would love your spouse until the end of your life.  There will be hard times mixed in with the good.  Don’t give up during your lowest points!  That’s when GOD can grow and stretch you the most!

Our relationship with GOD and each other has always grown immensely in trying times.  Marriage is no exception to that rule.  Don’t give in to popular culture and think if something is “broken” that you throw in the towel.  Fix it, make amends, try something different, talk to someone you trust, and pray of course!

Try to love your spouse the way that GOD loves your spouse.